My Governesses

I mentioned my Governess in the chat room last night and have been asked to write more about it, so here goes:

The days before the second world war were very different from those we live in now. We were a middle class family. My father was a retired regular army officer, who had fought all the way through the first war and retired shortly after. My parents were married in 1929 and I was born in 1930.
At first, I had a Nanny who looked after me and took me into the sitting room after tea until 6.0, when I went to bed. At least that happened as I got a little older. I do not know what happened when I was a baby.
When I was 5 I had my first governess. Her name was S'wo. She appeared ancient and had her grey hair in a bun. She can't have been really because she died not so very long ago! I had lessons in the morning and was taken for a walk (always along the road where there was a footpath) in the afternoon. Now that I was older, I sometimes had tea with my parents as well as the play time after. My father was good at that. We played begga-my-neighbour, snap or happy families. Also he read to me and that was the foundation of my love of reading and books. He read the Peter Rabbit Books and the Grey Squirrel ones. Then Winnie the Pooh and When we were Six. Later on we got to Kipling. He read well and I was enthralled. My poor mother had difficulty reading. She had broken her nose, hitting a branch riding in her teens and always suffered from cattharr. Also she was a bit dyslexic. She did not read to herself that much.
For all this time, I did not meet other children. My mother was very shy and had absolutely hated meeting children when she was a child and did not want me to suffer the same way. I find it hard to forgive her for that - it has affected the whole of my life. Other children of our circle also had governesses but had a social life too. When I was 5 I was given a most unsuitable pony, whom I loved deeply all her 22 years of life. The groom was told to teach me to ride and I did very little with the parents, who were both extremely good and fearless riders. (I was a frightened little thing!) The groom, of course was thoroughly bored with the whole idea so I didn't learn much. S'wo was not into horses so there was no way she was going to take me out on Jenny.
Then my life was transformed. My mother became pregnant with my eldest brother. S'wo said she could not possibly work in a house with a baby and a nurse (or Nanny). Shortly after my 7th birthday, Bo arrived. She had not been with us long before she had me greedily learning everything she could teach me (with the aid of the Parents National Educational Union). She made the parents buy a car so she could take me out. They got a Morris Minor and we went all over the place. I began to meet children but it was too late. They had been learning social and communication skills all their lives while I only knew how to talk to grown-ups. Still I must have begun to learn a bit. She took me to dancing class which was terrifying! I only have odd snapshots of events in my memory of that period, but it must have done something for me!! She also took me out a lot on Jenny, though she could not ride herself. (This went on right up to her leaving and during the war, we had to cope with convoys of army lorries, which Jenny hated!)
Then the war came. The house filled with children. 3 cousins came to stay for a while, from Tunbridge Wells. They were a girl of my age, one about 3 years younger and a boy who was about 2. We had evacuees. The first lot were a story on their own, but the second included Doffy who was a year younger than me. She stayed almost all the war. She went to the village school but Bo gave her extra teaching until she (Bo) left in 1942. This gave her a good foundation and she went on to Grammar School in Gateshead in about 1944. Many Governesses were called up early on in the war, so 2 local children came to Bo daily. A girl from the village and a cousin who lived not too far away.
So Bo had a class, with the cousins who were staying for a while too, which she loved. She even taught my little brother who was only 2 when the war started, but 5 when she left.
Sadly, Bo was called up in 1942, so I was sent off to Boarding School, as had always been intended and she went back home and I think worked in a factory for a while. Later, after teachin in the Prep School that Princess Margaret's son attended, she went back to Governessing . She went to a well known family and took the girls through School Certificate.
So you see, having a governess was not strange in those days, though it seldom happens now, except that sometimes a group of children may be taught in their very early years in a similar way. If only my first 7 years had been more normal, I would have benefited even more from Bo's influence. As it was I owe her an enormous debt of gratitude for all she did for me. She remained a friend of my Mother's until she died.

A mixed two days

A long time since I did anything here. I have a mixed bag.

after 72 hours of rain, I actually got out into the garden yesterday. At least not the garden proper - into the greenhouse. I got cracking with the secateurs and cut the Pelargoniums fairly hard back. Not too hard, they will go on growing I expect and I want to be able to cut them again in the spring. There was lots of good cuttings material but I have given up on that. A matter of space and not looking after them properly if they are kind enough to root.
Nex on the list were the Scarborough Lilies. I am down to 3 pots now and getting rid of one of them. It has flowered a little but is really over-the-top-crowded. The other two, I tidied up, removing all the baby bulbs and most of the dead scales. They will get watered in passing from now on till the spring, when it will probably just be on feeding days. They reward me with lots of lovely red flowers in September.
Next on the list was to tidy the Streptocarpus that are outside - there are still 3 in the Conservatory. As they are still giving colour in the Greenhouse, I just removed leaves that were clearly dead or nearly so. Will have to be nasty to them before long and the ones still in the house.
Finally, I attacked the Abutilon and Fuschia. Both were cut back hard.

That was that for the garden. The next happening came alot later. I was having a happy time chatting. There were a number of people in the chat room and it needed plenty of concentration. I must have had pressure on one side of the mouse because a message came up saying something about having kept the mouse pressed for 7 seconds, so I must want to do something to my hot keys. I can't remember which side it said. What are hot keys? Anyway, I pressed cancel and everything went haywire. It all went blue and I couldn't do anything with it. Tried everything I could think of but to no avail. In the end closed chat and found that the other lot that I had up, with the rest of Purple Coo and email was also infected. Loaded a Word document and it was infected too. Finally gave in and closed the computer down. Spent a wakeful night worrying about it and the first thing I did thismorning was to boot up. Glory be, all was well. However, it suddenly went odd in the chat room. All except the actual chat is highlit in deep blue and I cannot persuade it to go. If I type, it highlights as I go but posts OK.
Anyone reading this - could you tell me what hot keys are and why this is happening?

Today, having been in Hexham all morning, I spent the afternoon making large quantities of mince to freeze for a fortnight tomorrow, when the bridge club comes here and I am feeding 18. Have not yet made up my mind about the puds. Possibly the Chocolate mousse torte mentioned elsewhere, on the forum I think. Also cheats Clanachan - icecream, oatmeal biscuits, whiskey, raspberries and I can't remember what else. Think they wiould go well together.

If this blog is abit adrift it is because I have been in the chat room at the same time. Sorry!

OE's in Durham

I had an early lunch on Wednesday and then set off for Durham. It is only 3/4 hour away, so I arrived before 2.0 when the rooms are ready. Took my stuff over to the River-side rooms, where I was overlooking the river Wear. When I came down again, I found 2 ladies who had arrived a day early so had a chat with them. From where they were sitting we could see when others arrived. As I had organised the whole thing, I wanted to be sure that all was well, so tried to welcome people. Many had arrived by 4.30ish, so went up to my room and had a snooze - much needed!

What was this all about? I went to a school called Queen Ethelburga's. When I arrived it was evacuated to Studley Royal (by Fountains Abbey) and in April 1946 it moved back to Harrogate. There were only 3 of us in the group who had been at Studley, as most of them had left in the 50's and 60's. We totalled 26, with the 2 who came for the day only.

We have had several gatherings. The first was at Linlithgow because the old school organ had arrived there. (The school now belongs to a father near York, the Harrogate site is a housing estate and the Chapel was razed to the ground). The next was at Southall (I am not sure why) and then at Lyminge, where Queen Ethelburga died. The sister of an old Dunelmian suggested that we had a gathering in Durham, with lunch at Durham School.

So - that first evening we had a great deal of catching up and chatting, then a dinner with all 24 of us on one table in the main dining room. The staff of the Royal County Hotel could not have been more helpful or caring. By the time we had finished dinner, I was more than ready for my bed - a very wide affair with 3 sets of pillows and a duvet type thing under the sheet. Very comfortable!

Next morning, after an excellent breakfast, we climbed into the minimum number of cars plus one taxi and went off to the School. Signs saying 'Welcome to the Old Ethelburgians' made us feel immediately at home. After a cup of coffee or tea, we were given a tour of part of the school and an account of its history. All very interesting and as it was quite warm, with no wind, very pleasant to walk around. We were impressed by the accommodation for both boarders and day pupils. We visited a girls' house, not a boys'. It being half term there were no students there, though team members had come in for practice. That's dedication for you!

Lunch followed, in a room off the old large hall. The food was excellent though the portions were large enough to feed growing teenagers and we were nearly all over 60!

The Chapel is up 90+ steps, each representing Old Boys killed in the war. It helped to shake down the lunch, climbing up! For those who felt unable to climb (wimps and halt and lame!!) there was a mini bus. We had a short service, which an old girl and I had put together, with a favourite hymn, the school lesson, school psalm, school song, prayers, including one for old girls, and God be in my head, which I had sung nearly every school day for 6 years at morning prayers (assembly).

After the service, another girl and I set off at speed down the steps, and down the hill to the Wear, over Prebend Bridge and up to the Cathedral to contact the Guides for a tour. Nearly every one got there by 3.15, the set time, much to my surprise! It was important, as the guides like you to be prompt. We had a very interesting tour of the Cathedral. I think we will be paying for an hour but had at least 1 1/4. They were all so nice and love their cathedral. Walked down the hill back to the County Hotel. (I had hitched a lift to the school). The drivers didn't find it quite so easy! You can't take a car up to the Cathedral. They charge a bomb if you go anywhere near!

So back to my room to rest - I was exhausted - but a lie down recovered me! So down again for a gin and dinner with still more talk. Can't think what we still had to talk about!

Friday morning, the Secretary and I (the Treasurer couldn't come - she works) paid the bill - over £2000. Of course, everyone had payed their share already - to the OEA. And after many goodbye's - and see you at Lancing's (the next trip) - left for home.

Non Bridge players skip the next paragraph!

I'm not sure how I managed it but that evening we went to the first meeting of the Tynedale Bridge Club for this winter. It was great fun and interesting how different the people were! I was the partner of 3 amazing hands. The very first of the evening, my partner had 25 points and I had 9 but neither had a suit, so bidding was very difficult. In the end we bid a small slam and my partner made a grand slam. Later another partner called quite high and I had a lot of points, so I went straight to a game call - not like me at all. Anyway we made it. Then towards the end, we had a similar situation and we ended with a small slam called and made. So very unusual to have 3 hands like that in one evening - usually not even one! I was definitely in the money! We play 10p a hundred.

Harvest and Baptism

Continuing from yesterday's concert and supper -
This morning there was a full church again. It was a combination Harvest Festival and Baptism. The latter was very special. The baby's grandfather lived in the village. Her father works all over the world and lives in Azerbaijan. There is no Christian Church there, so he asked for his daughter to be baptised where her Grnadfather lived. People came from all over the world, which was also very special. Because it was Harvest Festival, there was a good local turn-out too. And lots of children!
The wee babe was not so wee! - about 4 or 5 months at a guess. She was very good, but did not get rid of the devil! She loves showers, as her mother takes her in with her. Consequently, water being poured over her head was kids stuff!! It was not until later in the service that she started to cry - she was hungry, wasn't she? A bottle solved that.
The Harvest part was good too. Lots of things - earth, seeds, plants, flowers, an instrument used at harvest, (a small instrument for measuring moisture content in the grain) water, bread and wine - were taken up to the altar by a small person, with a grown-up to say what was there.
We sang harvest hymns. The majority of the congretation went up to the altar, though some went for a blessing, as did the children. The children had been drawing a picture of what grows on the ground, while the sermon was on - and after too!
It was a noisy, busy service that meant a great deal. If you want to go to a Communion Service where you have quiet and can concentrate, you do not go to such a service. But I say to all those (usually oldies) who think that children should be seen and not heard, - read your New Testament and remember that Jesus said 'Let the little children come unto me' etc.
There was a very young gentleman with curly blond hair in front of me. At the end I said to him and his Mum that if I had had one, I'd give him a gold star. It was the first thing that really made him stop and look at me! (He really had been good!) His mother said how nice it was to see a smily face behind, because sometimes all she gets is black looks! Children are the most important - they can be won or lost - we oldies are either in the church or not there at all.

Quite enough of that. I came home and after lunch got on with the garden. I am trying to get things tidied up before the weather goes bad on us. Today, I had help. He finished off cleaning the green house roof, as I had not been able to reach it all yesterday. Then he cut the top out of a pillar type conifer growing by the house, which really must not get too tall. He also took out some bits of the top of a holly that had been missed last time he got at it. In between wondering if he was going to fall off the ladder and generally bossing him about (!) I was weeding pruning etc.

Now blogging after roast lamb. A good day!

Sat 13 October

What an evening! I have just come up, still shaking from the tension! Three very large purple cheers for Johnnie. He just lives down the road from here, so to speak. Just next door in Northumberland speak!

The rest of the evening:-

For once G came with me to a 'Church' thing - a concert to start off Harvest Festival. Clever really - instead of just a Harvest Service and Harvest Supper, we had a concert tonight in one of our churches. Having a musical Vicar helps!

About 80 people trooped into the Church, accompanied by 2 locals playing the Northumbrian pipes. The concert started with the Vicar playing the Treble recorder accompanied by the Harpsichord (the magic of the modern electric piano type thing) They played Handel's sonata in F major.

Then the Benefice choir (ecumenical) sang Bobby Shaftoe. This is very topical as the Shaftoes owned a house in the benefice, and only sold it a few years ago.

The Vicar then appeared again, with a box sot of thing that looked like a very basic accordian! She explained that when she was a wee girl, the neighbours threw it out and she saved it. It is called a Button Box. It has 2 rows of buttons, but more advanced ones have 3, the third one acting like the black notes on a piano. She proceeded to play a number of short pieces, despite the lack of the semi-tones!

We had 2 sets of Northumbrian Pipes pieces. The two who welcomed us played various local folk tunes the first time and later another set, with the Vicar on her beloved guitar. This lot ended with Keep your feet still Geordie hinnie which produced a certain amount of sort of singing and a great deal of foot tapping!

Between these 2 sets we had first a talented violinist playing Johann Sebastian Bach's Solo Sonata. Those who could see were entertained by his small son playing a pretend violin, beside him, with great seriousness the whole way through! He was followed by the Choir singing Maa Bonny Lad and then the Vicar on the Descant Recorder, accompanied by the piano this time, playing Scott Joplin's Maple Leaf Rag.

The concert was wound up by the Choir singing The Keel Row and then the assembled company earning their supper with Blaydon Races.

After that we moved over to the Village Hall for a pooled supper. The local parish provided the fist course, mostly hot and the other parishes brought the puddings. We all had a seat and a happy time was had by all.

G's comments - Couldn't hear much of the concert! Knew a few people at the supper and the food was good. That was quite an accolade in itself!!

I was delighted that I had G with me because I had to take him home so was not able to help with the washing up - as I usually do!

A very special lady

On Friday I drove down to SW Durham for a service of thanksgiving for the life of a very special person. Having had 2 children, her husband was killed in 1944. It was a lovely idea that her husband was included in the thanksgiving. During the war there was no funeral, no goodbye.

For the first years after the war, she settled down to bring up the children and to run a farm. Later, when she could leave them, she set off for India in a land-rover with goods for starving/sick people. I don't know whether she was the first to do this - but almost certainly the first woman. She continued in this vein, usually taking a young person with her. After the service, I was talking to one of these girls, who said that it was the most amazing experience. There was no room for wimpiness or the like. She hated to sleep in a bed all her life. On these trips, she slept across the front seats. It was up to the young companion to find herself somewhere to kip. This one chose the roof of the land-rover, as being the safest place!


We were not given a diary of her life. Rather comments on different aspects of her character and life. Consequently, I cannot give a list of all the trips she made. I know that later on she went to Eastern Europe, usually with one companion. She spent more of her time on her travels than at home. She was not short of money, but material things meant little to her. As long as she had enough to survive and serve others, she was happy. She was virtually a vegetarian so did not mind the dietary hardships on her travels. She continued to serve the poor and needy in this way long after the normal person would have. She was indomitable. In amongst it all she was bitten by a rabid dog and survived. Much later on she suffered a nasty illness whose name I do not know, which involved complete paralysis. She spent a long time in intensive care in hospital but amazingly she recovered completely.


When, at last, she had to stop her travels and would really have liked to go then. Serving others was the only thing that made her happy. Shortly before she died at the age of 97, she was still knitting gloves and socks for the needy. As I sat in that Church, I couldn't help thinking that there were many similarities between her and Mother Theresa.


She leaves 2 children and spouses, 5 grand children, and at least 6 great grand children. They are all lovely people - not into her sort of life, but all people she was, I'm sure very proud of.

School visit to Belsay Hall

This morning 4 mothers and I gathered at Belsay First School to hear what we had let ourselves in for. We had a briefing and found that we were not just there to keep the little darlings safe. Much more was expected of us!
We were each allocated 4 children and a colour. We had to gather our little flock and get them safely onto a coach and their safety belts done up. We had a horrific hazard paper, which I didn't read. I thought that common sense would do instead.
The coach set off for a 5 minute trip to Belsay Hall, a Palladian House built by the Middletons who had lived on the site since the 12th century at least. We all moved from the coach to the entrance to the Hall, where the children were told something of the history of the house. By the way, they were years 2, 3 and 4 years. My 4 consisted of all years and very lovely kids they were too. At last we were let loose. There was an exhibition of art, using spaces i.e. rooms to depict things to do with the house and the family.
The imagination and understanding of what was going on amazed me - way beyond my ability!! I will not try to describe the individual exhibits. It would take yards of space and probably not mean anything to you. Suffice it to say that the children knew what they liked and what they didn't. What they found spooky and what they didn't. What was intriguing and what wasn't.
There were 2 tasks to be undertaken. There was an upper room that had 2 trees growing out of the floor and a 3rd out of a bed (yes, really!) and a nightdress hanging on a branch and next door, a wardrobe, open with dresses hanging and an eye looking through a hole in the back and blinking(!), a fireplace and a dressing table with a lady who came and went in the mirror, brushing her hair. Here they had to draw a picture. Even with my 4 children it was fascinating what they drew. One boy drew the fire place and some of the old wall paper. 2 girls drew a chair which was, for some reason, lying on its side. The 3rd drew the wardrobe with the eye. One then drew a tree. I found it fascinating as to why these were chosen.
The second task was in a room where there were masses of keys all over the walls, each with a label saying where it was from. This room apparently represented the housekeeper. The children had to draw a key, a label with their name on and a border of keys. This was more straightforward.
After that we had a little time to spare, so they were able to run and run outside.
We had a packed lunch inside because it was horribly cold. Then our group moved to the Education Room. The morning group had made a number of rooms out of boxes, lit by a torch and viewed through a keyhole. Our lot each had their photo taken and printed and cut out by themselves and put into one of the rooms. This sounds simple but a great deal of imagination went into it all. The rooms were up a secret staircase in the Hall, never seen by anyone before and only accessible by the keys! As someone who has never done any teaching or anything like it, it was an eye-opener. What can be got out of these young minds is amazing. I loved every moment of it.
By the time I got home, I was exhausted - but a lovely sort of exhaustion. Now I must take G to see this exhibition!